the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
