Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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