So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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