I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
