McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
