I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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