Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize