I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
