Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
