chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
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