I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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