Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
