Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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