Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
