My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
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Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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