When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize