I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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