nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
