so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
