i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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