In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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