They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Who died my cat blue again?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
