five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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