Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
