We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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