What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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