I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
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And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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