I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
