? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
