Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
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