Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize