Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
