I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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