You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
