I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
