I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
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There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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