i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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