Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
