Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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