Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
