i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i now understand why vodka
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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