Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We talked him into tasing himself.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
