Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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