i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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