just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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