Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
