I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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