i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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