sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
