New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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