There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
