now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
