Buhtt sex?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
