I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
