At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize