some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
is wine microwaveable?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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