his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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