He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
a search helicopter?!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
