What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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