I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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